So, as a follow up to Sean's posting about the ugliest dog in the world. I've attached a picture and I have more ridiculous news about that mangled mutt. They have a calendar. Yes, you read it correctly. They have a calendar. Can you believe this? It's ridiculous. Who in their right mind would purchase, much less hang it for their viewing pleasure? I just wanted to add my 2 cents.
This cracks me up! Again with the same shirt shop, they have a new design up. It is a four panel drawing of stickfigures performing various stunts. In the first panel, we have a stickfigure jumping from a window in a tall building. In the second panel, we have a stickfigure who has lit himself on fire. In the third panel, we have a stickfigure jumping a dirtbike over severed stickfigure heads. In the last panel, we have a stickfigure sailor unsuccessfully fighting off a rather large shark. At the bottom of the four panels is the text "I do my own stunts".
I think this is a much better rendition of other I do my own stunts shirts I've seen around.
For all you people who waited until the last minute to buy Christmas gifts...it's not too late! Go now to your local Walgreens and buy whatever they have on sale right next to the register. If you're creative enough, the "it's the thought that counts" excuse can work...but only if you come up with a good enough "thought" to go with that gift. Good luck late shoppers.
Here is another design I found on the previously mentioned shirt shop. This is a cute/odd one. It's called "Teddy Bear in Space". Check it out. He's floating around, having a good time. Or is he? I don't know. He looks a tiny bit stressed. And what's up with the eye patch? Is that an alarm bell on his chest?
Has anyone heard of or seen a comedian named Dane Cook? HOLY CRAP is this guy funny. He's funny in the conventional sense that he has funny jokes, but what puts him over the top are a couple of things. First, his delivery is great. He reminds me of a toned down Jack Black, which totally works. Second, his references to pop culture are great. They aren't just references to stuff going on today, but things from my past. It's almost like he was one of my friends from high school and the college years. I just listened to his new CD called Retaliation. One of the first things he starts talking about is some guy that got hit by a car. He talks about how he got hit in the hip and being your center of gravity, this sent him flying over the car like Eddie Gordo from Tekken when you don't know any of the combos and you start mashing buttons. That's hillarious! My friends and I used to play Tekken and Eddie Gordo was always the "cheat" character because you could get him to flip around and fly through the air by just mashing a bunch of buttons. Holy crap is this guy funny. I listed to his CD in the car and after 20 minutes I thought, this might not be a good idea. I was laughing so hard I'm surprised I didn't crash my car. Anyway. I just discovered this guy and thought I would share.
If you get the chance, check this guy out. Go to his shows, listen to his CDs, watch him on TV. The man is funny.
I visited this shop today. If you're looking for unique shirts? Visit this shop I found at www.saintgray.com
God Christ! Let him go already. He should have been dead and buried in the backyard probably five years ago. I for one am glad I'll never have to be disgusted at the dinnertime news of that bat-earred demon winning the "Ugliest Dog Contest". What the hell? Why is there a contest like this anyway? Why not ugliest child or baby? Cause there are TONS of those. But, back to Sam. I have seen all the past two days the latest on the fact that Sam is in fact still dead. His owner is really the ugliest, for trotting out that poor dog for fame and glory (and first place ribbons). Jesus, she even has this ridiculous t-shirt I saw her in (while holding the dog, of course) that reads something like "Sam World's Ugliest Dog" in this Crypt Keeper style print. Sam was ugly, there's no doubt, horrifyingly ugly. Evertime they showed that damn hobgoblin of a dog I was speechless and too freaked out for at least 30 seconds to do anything but sit there and shutter. I don't need to see some cloudy eyed, stumbling "Hell" hound that looks to be from the 3rd level of Hades to be grossed out and stunned. If I want that response you'll find me at the local Wal-Mart at about 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. So, Adios Sam, I'm sure you'll be replaced with some other hideous beastie they'll pull out of some Mississippi cellar early next year. So I'm off, to go dismember and then reassemble my Yorkie. She should be a surefire winner for next summer, and then I can smile like a country retard while holding my freak.
I really could have, honest. And I could have even paid quadrupal the money like many on EBay, but I said COULD have, not CAN. NO, no, no, no, I decided to date instead. Who even knows the amounts of untold thousands the years have cost me in hopes of love or at the very least love-like sex. But, no that money is gone. People love to give an ear full to a local drunk, crackhead, or gambler for thowing their money away, but what about the daters. Dater, gambler, both end in "er", so does loser, dreamer, and lover. All, are crap, and quite expensive depending on the order you want them in. Goes back to my believe on why prostitution should be legal, and that it is in fact the new millenium's prohibition. That's right, FUCK pot, it's hookers that are being censored, but more on that later, skaters. As for my evening, I've got to and pretend and imagine just what my t.v. would have looked like with a new Xbox unit next to it. But, imagining is as far as it goes cause I threw all my cash and coin away on useless dates, and potential ex-mates.
you know gentleman, and yes this is a post for the men, so ladies leave the room. from the get go, due to our male stupidity and lust for fucking to say we did, we lost control. We have no say in the process of life mates, it's all on the fairer sex. Republicans, Democrates, yadayada, etc., etc. have all missed the boat and lost us the sex war. Yeah, that's right the sex war, I said it. To hell with Pearl Harbor and 9/11, the real battle is here in bedroom, of the married man, and the single lone prick. And it's over, we lost. Somewhere in the mid to late sixties our parents and grandparents gave in and high-tailed it out of the way for the women to gain the high road. I believe this. I also believe that it wasn't entirely the governments' of worlds fault. The real secret is, and yes wait for it. All through the years we've all heard the same scam that the men undercount the women 2 to 1 (two women for every guy, say it ain't so, heaven on earth). this is BULLSHIT, BUNK, BLASPEMY. the fact is that it is completely the other way around, and we are the low men on the totem pole. That's right more bolts than nuts. This was hidden for years and years and years because intelligent men in a rooms high above the treetops knew that if this were to get out it would be tragic. Our male monkey brains would surge and ripple at the idea that there is another out there pawning to your woman due to the fact that we in fact could run out of girls, and then what would the outcome be? Disaster!!!! War on the high seas, road warrior in the real world on the highways and biways of every major city. We would rid ourselves of competition and only the strongest would survive. Talk about a defense for homosexuals (no compete contract indeed). But, back to my original point it was in this lie that we lost, the upper hand was inevidibly swapped into the hands of the women, and now 150 dollar dates, with no return call or email, or short answer messages on cellphones are what we have to show for it. Women got us right where no sword or bullet could, not the heart or the balls, but our male fibers and soul. they gutted it, and have no plans of ever letting it sway back in our direction, even if boredom sets in. I drove by a local Best Buy this evening and saw a mass of men and boys (who could tell by the way they were dressed) huddled around in parkas and sleeping bags waiting for 9am to roll around so they could get their pudgy little hands on a brand new XBOX 360, and at first I wanted to laugh at their expense. I really wanted to yell something clever out of the window to lower their self-esteems, but then I thought about it and the idea that they are looking forward to something tangible, to hold and get a response out of. They had figured it out at this most cold and desperate of nights that emotion wasn't worth it from some "loving" girlfriend or fiancee, waiting for a certain look or phrase of words to make their hearts flutter, no it would be found FOR CERTAIN in a plastic encased computer game. It would not fail them or let them down by not calling, its response was guaranteed, and if it failed it could easily be replaced with another. Though some would consider these few "freaks and geeks" just that, I admire them, because they know the war is over and it is time to salvage whatever joy and guarantee of life's emotions there is still left. Even if it comes from Bill Gates.
Hello.
I work in an IT related field. My life can be down right boring sometimes, but occasionally it's not. Every once in a while, some pretty unconvential behavior spices things up. This unconvential behavior is usually witnessed by me, occasionally directed toward me, and sometimes displayed by me. I've decided to start this blog to document that behavior. More often than not, you'll find postings about recent movies I've seen, or weird stuff I've seen. Occasionally I'll give reviews of products, places, and services I like or dislike. You may even get a rant or two about something I feel particularly strong about. If you're reading this now, something drew you here to me, so I hope that I can inform or entertain you somehow. Until either one of those things happen, take care.
