Did you hear something? Honey, go check it out.

My wife is a little bit paranoid. Not in a creepy, conspiracy theory sort of way, but in a semi-normal way. Everyone is a little paranoid of noises you hear in the house late at night, but my wife is convinced that someone has broken into the house and is trying to steal our children. This has been cause of many a nights of me walking around the house to check it out. Well, today, no more. Ok, well maybe not exactly today, but soon, no more. Today I ordered a security system. It's going to be installed next week. Apparently I get a really good discount through my insurance company, plus after it's installed I get a discount on my home owner's insurance.
So, burglars and little kid thieves beware! My house will be secure and you will not be welcome! I'm pretty sure the neighbor's house is pretty open though. I think they have a ham in the fridge too, so that's like a bonus. Ham...yummy.